50th birthday quotes about middle age Teasing about middle age is almost mandatory at 50, and these following quotes are gentle but funny, and sure to bring a laugh. “Middle age is when a man has got a handle on life and life has put handles on his waist” Anon “Old age is like underwear. It creeps up on you” Anon. Wonderful 50th birthday! Don’t look down on turning 50. Look at it this way – you are a playlist of the most awesome songs for the past 50 years! You know almost all the best hits, old and new. Wonderful 50th birthday! The only thing that won’t change at 50 is how time flies and how you are still amazing after all this years. Happy 50th Birthday to one of the greatest creations of this century! Funny Happy 50th Birthday Wishes. If you know someone well enough to joke about their age, then funny 50th birthday wishes are certainly the way to go. Odds are, you might have already chosen a humorous card, so feel free to play off that theme.

• Quotes 50th Birthday Woman
• Mom 50th Birthday Quotes Funny
• 50th Birthday Toasts For Women
• Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

What does it mean to turn 50? Who the heck knows these days? While some 50-year-olds are comfortable in their middle-aged skin, an increasing number of quinquagenarians are determined to maintain a youthful lifestyle with the help of nutrition, exercise, and a variety of pharmaceuticals.

Still, while it means different things to different people, a 50th birthday is always a major milestone. If you know someone hitting the half-century mark, a standard, run-of-the-mill birthday wish simply won’t cut it. You need a birthday message that befits this momentous occasion.

To help you out, here’s a diverse sampling of 50th birthday wishes you can post online, send in a text message, or scribble in a greeting card.

Sincere Funny For Her For Him Special Friend

Sincere

To start, here are some simple and heartfelt 50th birthday messages you could send to just about anyone, regardless of their relationship to you.

• Congratulations on reaching the half-century club! May your next 50 years be just as amazing as the first!
• Happy Birthday to a very youthful 50-year-old.
• Still nifty at fifty. Hope you have a wonderful birthday!
• Happy Birthday to a true child of the 80s. Hope your big day is totally awesome.
• Wishing you all the best on your 50th birthday, and in all the years to come.
• Congratulations on your 50 years on the planet. You’ve accomplished so much, and the best is yet to come!
• Fifty years old and still going strong. I hope I have half your energy when I’m your age.
• Happy 50th to someone who is 100% awesome.
• Happy 50th Birthday! You don’t just look amazing for your age – you are amazing at any age.
• You make turning 50 look good. I may have to try it sometime!

Funny

Here are some funny 50th birthday wishes, many of which poke fun at the person’s advancing age. For more laugh-inducing ideas, see our big list of funny birthday wishes.

• Happy 50th Birthday! Sure, being young was fun, but now you’re older and wiser. Well, you’re older.
• Happy Birthday to someone who remembers what it was like to use a payphone, flip over a cassette tape, and get out of your chair to change the TV channel.
• Happy 50th Birthday! Good luck blowing out all those candles!
• Thank you so much for turning 50 before me. I owe you one!
• Happy 50th Birthday! Welcome to your midlife crisis.
• Happy 50th Birthday! Remember, 50 is just a number. A big, round, scary number.
• Happy 30th anniversary of your 20th birthday!
• They say 50 is the new 40. Who’s they? Probably a bunch of old people like you.
• Happy 50th Birthday! You don’t look even close to 50, and that’s a really, really annoying thing about you.
• Happy 50th Birthday! You may be showing your age, but at least you’re not acting it!
• Turning 50 makes you wonder where the years have gone. Also, where are your keys? And what did you do with your glasses? And why did you walk into this room?
• Happy 50th Birthday! Welcome to the age where it’s no longer possible to find a birthday cake big enough to hold all your candles!

For Her

Here are some birthday wishes for a woman turning 50. If the birthday girl is particularly special to you, you may want to see our list of sweet birthday wishes for her.

• Still fun, fine, and fabulous at fifty. Hope you have a fantastic birthday!
• Welcome to 50. If your face feels warm, it’s either the heat from your birthday candles or a hot flash.
• Happy 50th Birthday to a lady who is beautiful at any age.
• Happy 50th Birthday to a lady who is forever young.

For Him

Here are some 50th birthday wishes for a guy. For more ideas, see this list of “old man” birthday wishes.

• Still foxy at fifty! Happy Birthday to a guy who looks amazing for his age.
• They say that guys get better looking with age… and in your case, it’s true! Happy 50th!
• Turning 50 used to be a real downer for men, but thanks to certain pills you can take, things are really looking up!
• Happy Birthday to a guy who looks 50 but acts 15.

Special Friend

Finally, here are some touching 50th birthday wishes for a good friend. If we’re talking best friend, you may also want to see this article.

• Fifty years… a wonderful milestone for a wonderful person.
• Happy 50th Birthday to one of the most amazing people I know. I can’t wait to see what you do in the next half-century.
• Happy 50th Birthday! I hope you’re around for at least 50 more, because people as remarkable as you don’t come along very often.
• The world has been lucky to have you for the past 50 years. Congrats on reaching this special milestone. I wish you many happy years ahead.
• Happy 50th Birthday to my best friend. Promise me you will never start acting your age.

Nifty, shifty, thrifty...Fifty! Funny 50th birthday sayings, short clean jokes, and funny quotations that’ll help you slide into the fifties with a smile. Congrats!

The best form of birth control for people over 50: nudity.

Fifty is a powerful age for women. You can set off sprinkler systems with your hot flashes.

By fifty, you’ve figured out that time is a great healer and a not-so-hot beautician.
At 50 years old, life seems shorter. No point in spending it trying to make yourself disappear by dieting.

50 years old: In Led Zeppelin terms, that's halfway up the stairway to heaven.

Turning 50? Laughter is the gift that keeps you in the present.

Funny 50th Birthday Sayings:
What You Can Expect at 50

You’ve got four sizes of clothes in your closet, three of which will never be worn again by you.
You spend more time trimming your nose hair than head hair.
You realize with some irritation that your parents were right about nearly everything.
The street vendor says “Yes, Ma’am” instead of “Sure thing, Gorgeous.’”

You finally get your head together, and your body has other ideas.

Your high school yearbook is moldy enough to support a thriving colony of algae.
When you look in a full-length mirror, you can see your butt from the front.

You're still hot, but only in flashes.

And those hot flashes? Don’t think of them as menopause. Think of them as regular short vacations in the tropics.

Quotes 50th Birthday Woman

At 50 it's more important than ever to eat fruits and vegetables. So:
- In the morning, add an extra stalk of celery to your Bloody Mary.
- At lunch, drop an extra olive in your martini.
- And at dinner, squeeze a little more lime into that Margarita.

Funny 50th Birthday
Sayings, Group 3

I’m aiming by the time I’m fifty to stop being an adolescent.
- Wendy Cope
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
- Bob Hope
Sex is as good at 50 as it was at 20. The only difference is I’m not into all that freakin’ Cirque de Soleil stuff because I’m as flexible as a two-by-four with as much stamina as an emphysema patient on oxygen.
- Janet Periat

After fifty, one ceases to digest. As someone once said, “I just ferment my food now.”
- Henry Green

When I was young, people used to say to me: Wait until you’re fifty, you’ll see. Well, I'm fifty. I haven’t seen anything.
- Eric Satie

Funny 50th Birthday
Sayings, Group 4

For my 50th birthday, my husband and I spent a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. My first choice was 1978, but the time machine was booked.
- Jean Sorensen
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller

Celebrating 50 is like throwing a party when your odometer reaches 150,000 miles.
- Melanie White

50 is a nice, round number – it pretty much matches my body.
- Melanie White
50 isn’t old – just ask anybody who’s 90.
- Melanie White

50th Birthday Sayings
Group 5

At 50, you’ve entered the stone age: gall, kidney, and bladder.
- Anonymous
50 years old? Look on the bright side. The older you get, the more likely you are to outlive your child support payments.
-Melanie White

Mom 50th Birthday Quotes Funny

50 years old means no more wearing speedos on the beach. This is a rule.
- Greg Tamblyn

Just remember, when you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
- Charles M. Schulz
I rented a bounce house for my adults-only 50th birthday and had a blast jumping in the stupid thing. I kept expecting the Age Police to show up and ticket me.
- Janet Periat

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
- Lucille Ball

50th Birthday Sayings: Group 6

Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush the net.
- Franklin P. Jones

Who said there were no such things as miracles? You made it to 50, didn’t you?
- Melanie White
You know you’re 50 when the only silver lining you can see is on your head.
- Melanie White

When you’re 50, don’t worry about turning gray. Just be glad you have hair.
- Melanie White

At 50, when you sneeze, “water under the bridge” has a completely different meaning.
- Melanie White

50th Birthday Party

50th Birthday Toasts For Women

A 50 year old woman’s birthday wish was to lose all her excess weight.
In one huge breath, she blew out the all candles on her cake.
Suddenly - POOF - her husband vanished.

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